|Posted by deepakmorris on November 8, 2015 at 12:25 AM|
This script is available free of charge to be performed wherever one wants:
(The COACH and PLAYER are talking)
PLAYER: Hey Coach, I hear they tried playing cricket in China
COACH: Really? How did they fare?
PLAYER: Well, they tried it with Yu bowling, Mi batting and Shi fielding
COACH: Me bowling?
PLAYER: No, Mi batting
COACH: You just said I was bowling
PLAYER: No, Yu was bowling
COACH: That’s bad English
PLAYER: Concentrate, Coach, we aren’t talking of billiards or snooker. There’s no English in Cricket
COACH: That’s bad grammar AND bad history. The English INVENTED the blinking game innit?
PLAYER: What does that have to do with Yu, Mi and Shi?
COACH: Who’s she?
COACH: She’s fielding?
COACH: But who’s she?
PLAYER: The fielder
COACH: The fielder’s a she?
COACH: When did cricket become a mixed game?
PLAYER: It was always mixed up if you ask me. You have two sides, one out in the field and one in
COACH: Correct. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out
PLAYER: Absolutely. When they are all out, the side that's o..........................................ut comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out
COACH: Crystal clear. So what was the problem?
PLAYER: It was Greek to the Chinese
COACH: The Chinese were trying to learn Greek?
PLAYER: No, Cricket
COACH: Greek Cricket?
PLAYER: Is that different from regular cricket?
COACH: I don’t know! I only know regular cricket. And these new-fangled Premier League things. Just not cricket, if you ask me
PLAYER: Yu doesn’t speak English. And why would he ask Mi?
PLAYER: Mi speaks a bit. But Yu and Shi are terrible
COACH: Me and she?
PLAYER: No, Yu and Shi
COACH: What’s wrong with my English?
PLAYER: Well Coach, I’ve seen your Snooker and your English is terrible
COACH: You’ve seen me play Snooker?
PLAYER: No I haven’t. I’ve seen Mi play cricket
COACH: How can you see you play cricket?
PLAYER: The same way I see Mi and Shi play cricket. On TV
COACH: You and she play cricket on TV?
PLAYER: All do. Yu, Mi and Shi
PLAYER: Ai’s the umpire