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Teaching Four Year Old Girls - A Monologue

Posted by deepakmorris on July 14, 2012 at 3:05 PM

(Dinesh, around 40, walks on, struggling with a pile of large books – large in area and in thickness – in his hands)

 

DINESH: (Putting books down on the table)

 

Okay, girls, let’s settle down and begin today’s lesson. (Long pause) Oh, okay, you want to eat your biscuits (pause) um... okay, tiffin. You know, tiffin is a uniquely Indian word, from when… (pause) what, Melanie? You want to go to the toilet? Oh, okay, I’ll get one of the helpers to take you.

 

(He calls to an imaginary helper) Um, Melanie here wants to go to the toilet, can you take her, please? (Pause) Oh, Siddhi seems to want to go too. Is it too much of a problem – oh, thanks! You’re a saviour!

 

What’s that, Riddhi? (Pause) Yes, I know Siddhi’s your twin but that doesn’t mean – oh all right, stop doing that, I get that you need to go to the bathroom too. You may follow your sister.

 

So we, um, yes, it’s just you and I, Ghia. No, not you and me, you and I. Yes, that is the right way to say it and your daddy is (beat) not entirely wrong if he says “me” but the more correct word in this context is “I”.

 

Context? Oh, that’s something you’ll learn when you grow older. And Melanie, please don’t drag that steel chair across the floor. (Pause) Yes, I know you’re back from the toilet – the screeching chair told me so. Child, okay, girl, okay MELANIE!

 

Oh dear god, don’t cry! Please don’t cry! Pretty please don’t cry?

 

Okay, um… see the pretty pictures in this book? Oh dear god she’s still crying. Hey! Want some ice cream?

 

Oh damn, that was a mistake.

 

No! I said “oh Dan”! I DIDN’T say a naughty word! I said “Dan” I tell you!

 

Categories: theater, drama, performance

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